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When Saturday night arrived Bradley met Nikki in Seaford close to where Gav and Rhonda lived to get ready to go out to the club. Bradley was still slightly apprehensive but also excited about what might happen. Gav and Rhonda lived in a flat above a shop along the main road in Seaford and to get to it you had to walk down an alley way around the side of the building and then up some stairs. When they arrived at the flat Nikki knocked on the door and Rhonda let them in.

'Hey, thanks for coming over!' said Rhonda excitedly as she opened the door 'you ready for tonight?'
'Can't wait!' said Nikki as they walked inside. Gav and Tina were in the front room that over looked the street.
'Alright?' said Gav as he rolled up a cigarette 'looking forward to tonight?'
'Should be good I hope,' replied Bradley looking around the small but tidy flat.
'I remember my first rave,' added Gav 'you will have a great time!'
'Did you get hold of the stuff?' asked Nikki.
'Got a few of them,' replied Gav 'we will take them just before we go into the club. Anyone fancy a beer?' Gav offered Bradley and Nikki a can of fosters each.
'What's the plan then?' asked Nikki.
'Going to have a beer or two here and then head down the sea front and then make our way to the rave,' replied Gav 'My mate is working tonight so he can get us in and he knows the men who are working on the door and they are sound,'
'What time does it kick off?' asked Tina.
'About tenish,' replied Gav 'won't be a huge night but with DJ Slipdeck coming down it should be good,'
'How many pills did you want?' Rhonda asked Bradley and Nikki.
'About three?' replied Nikki.
'What about you, Bradley?' asked Rhonda.
'Maybe try about one?' replied Bradley.
'Maybe try them in the half,' suggested Nikki 'Talk half before you get into the club and then the other half later, that's what I did on my first time,'
'I could try that,' replied Bradley 'how much are they?'
'Two quid each,' replied Gav 'I will sell them to people for more but as you are part of my party I will sell them cheaper,'
'Thanks, Gav,' replied Nikki 'how much are you buying, Tina?
'Just three and maybe another one later,' replied Tina.
'These should sell out quick,' replied Gav 'these have been big in the raves in places like Rotterdam,'

After an hour of hanging out at Gav and Rhonda's the group made their way out towards the seafront with a can of beer each. The evening was calm and Bradley was enjoying the night so far and after a couple of beers was feeling more relaxed about the pills. Eventually after walking along the seafront they came closer to the town centre.

'Shall we start now?' said Rhonda to Gav as they reached a shelter and sat on the bench.
'Might as well,' replied Gav as he pulled a small plastic bag out of his jacket pocket which had the pills in it.
'Tina, here is three for you, and another three for you, Nikki,' he said offering the pills to the girls.
'And, Bradley I have broken one in two halves for you,' he said as he offered Bradley two broken pills.
'How many are you taking?' asked Tina.
'As many as I need,' laughed Gav 'going to start with two I think,'
The pills were white with brown speckles in them and looked tiny.
'These aren't scag pills are they?' asked Tina.
'No, that's the MDMA in the pills, there isn't really any such thing as scag pills,' laughed Gav.
'What are scag pills?' asked Bradley.
'People sometimes think that the brown speckles on pills is heroin but that's just a story that someone made up,' replied Rhonda 'the brown stuff is the god stuff,'
'Here is some water,' said Rhonda as she handed Tina a bottle of water which she used to help swallow the pill and then handed the bottle to Nikki who had taken her first pill. Nikki then handed the bottle to Bradley.
'Well, here goes,' he thought as he swallowed the first half of the pill.
'How long does it take to work?' he asked Gav.
'These take about an hour or so,' replied Gav 'but they last a while, not much of a come down either,'

After everyone had taken their pill they made their way to the club that over looked the seafront. The building used to be a ballroom during the Victorian age and looked slightly neglected on the outside and the windows were covered with posters advertising various music venues.

When they arrived at the main entrance Gav spoke to someone he recognised who was at the door.
'Alright, Stu?' said Gav to the man who was smoking a cigarette.
'Gav! Are you ready for tonight?' replied Stu.
'Got everything I need,' replied Gav 'are they still safe on the door?'
'They are fine,' replied Stu 'just keep your head down as usual. How many of you are coming in?'
'Just the five of us,' replied Gav.
'Cool,' replied Stu 'come in through this way, the manager isn't back yet but he is cool with me letting a few people in,'
Stu let the group in and there were already a few people in the club and they made their way towards a seating area.
'Right, are you ok chilling out here while I look for the geezer I was supposed to see?' Gav asked Rhonda as she sat down.
'That's cool, see you in a bit,' replied Rhonda.
'Where is Gav going?' asked Tina.
'Going to make a deal with someone,' replied Rhonda as Bradley and Nikki sat down.
'You ok, babe?' asked Nikki 'you will be alright with me,'
'Thanks,' replied Bradley feeling slightly guiltily about taking the drug.
'Remember to drink water,' reminded Nikki 'but not too much either,'

The music that was playing was typical dance music and there were already a few people dancing on the dance floor and more people were starting to arrive. It was almost 11.00pm and the night was just getting started. At the front of the club near the main DJ booth a man with a microphone started getting people moving.

'Right everyone, this is MC Big Bear,' said the big man as people started to take notice of him.
'I want everyone to make some noise for the man that is DJ Friction, make some noise and show your appreciation!' a few people in the crowed started to cheer as the DJ started playing a different record.

'I want to see everyone up and dancing!' called out the MC as a few more people got on the floor.
'I'm going up now!' said Tina as she got up 'what about you Nikki?'
'I am going to chill out here for a while,' replied Nikki 'you ok chilling out with me?' she asked Bradley.
'I will stay here with you,' replied Bradley loyally while waiting for something to happen.
The DJ turned out to be good and people were enjoying themselves and the MC was good at getting the crowed hyped.
'I will be back in a minute,' said Nikki as she got up and made her way to the female toilets across the dance floor.
'Do you think she is ok?' asked Bradley to Rhonda who was still sitting at the table.
'She will be fine,' reassured Rhonda 'think she might be coming up,'
After a couple of minutes Nikki came back to the table and sat down.
'You ok?' asked Rhonda.
'I was sick but I?m ok now,' replied Nikki 'think I might be coming up,'
'You feel ok?' she asked Bradley.
'At the moment I am,' replied Bradley who didn't feel any different. It must have been around three quarters of an hour since taking the pill so he was waiting for something to happen.

The music was getting more people hyped up and seemed to really set the scene for the night and Bradley was really enjoying it.
He then started to feel sick as well and got up to make his way to the men's toilets.

'I will be back in a minute,' he said to Nikki and Rhonda.
'Are you coming up?' asked Nikki anxiously.
'I might be,' replied Bradley still not feeling much different apart from now feeling queasy.

He went into the toilets and closed one of the doors behind him and stood of the WC and felt slightly weak and then threw up a few times. After about a minute or two he felt slightly better and made his way out of the toilets and checked the mirror.
In his reflection he could see his pupils looked larger than normal, a sign that the drugs were kicking in.

'You ok, mate,' said a random guy in the toilets.
'Not too bad,' replied Bradley.
'You coming up?' asked the guy casually.
'Think so, it?s my first time,' replied Bradley.
'Nice one!' replied the guy excitedly 'have a wicked night, boss!'
'Thanks,' replied Bradley as the stranger had darted into one of the toilets and threw up himself.

Back in the club Bradley sat back down next to Nikki and she held his hands.
'You ok now, babe? she asked sympathetically.
'Think so,' replied Bradley feeling slightly better. He could see that Nikki's pupils were also dilated as Gav came back to the table.

'Alright guys?' he said casually 'got everything sorted and got a few left for ourselves as well,'
'Is Tina ok?' asked Nikki.
'She is fine, she is already going for it!' laughed Gav ' are you both coming up?' he asked Nikki and Bradley.
'Think so,' replied Nikki as she held Bradley's hand again.
'I think I am,' replied Rhonda 'will come for a dance in a bit,'

Bradley thought that the music seemed to be getting better and faster and he felt relaxed being with Nikki and he couldn't help but notice how good looking she was as he stroked her hair.
'I love you, babe,' she said to him.
'Love you too,' he replied happily. He was starting to feel really relaxed now and noticed that he was moving his legs while the lights seemed to be moving in time with the music.
'Do you need some water?' asked Nikki has she drunk some of the water that Rhonda had left on the table. Bradley then realised that his mouth felt slight dry.

'Don't drink too much, remember,' added Nikki as she lit up a cigarette 'I think I am coming up,'
'I think I might be as well,' added Bradley as he felt even more relaxed. The music was now getting faster and the MC was getting the crowd going as more people were on the dance floor.

The whole club felt electric, everyone was dancing in time with the lights and the music and Bradley felt himself and Nikki both dancing while sitting in the chair. He found himself breathing as he closed his eyes and as he breathed in and out he felt more relaxed.

'You ok, babe?' asked Nikki.
'Feel really good,' replied Bradley as he started to feel tingly.
'I think I am coming up now,' said Nikki again as she started moving in the chair 'you want to come up and dance?'

They both got up made their way to the dance floor. Tina, Rhonda and Gav were there already and were really getting into the music. The music was really good, nothing like Bradley had ever heard before. He had always liked dance music but this was stronger, it was faster and harder. The beat patterns sounded more pure and the vocals that come out of the music really added to the energy of the music.

'OK everyone, I want you all to make some noise!' called out the MC 'show your appreciation for the DJ Friction!'

Bradley was now starting to feel really good and felt himself moving in time with everyone else on the dance floor. If this was what raving was all about then it was really good. Everyone on the dance floor looked good, especially Nikki and even though Bradley was straight he couldn't but notice that even the guys looked good.
'I am really buzzing now, babe!' said Nikki as she pulled Bradley closer.
'So am I,' replied Bradley 'it feels amazing!'

The feeling that came over him was nothing like he had ever felt before, he felt really smooth and switched on, nothing else had ever felt come close to this. With each track that the DJ played, the better the music seemed. The MC was going mental on the microphone and it could be guessed that he had also taken something.

'Who is having a good time?' called out MC Big Bear.
'Who is rushing?' He called out as there was a cheer from the crowed as the bass from the speakers shook the floor.
For the next hour Bradley felt like he was in a dream world, he barley left the dance floor and spent the whole time with Nikki who was also having the time of her life. After drinking water Bradley made his way into to toilets and this time felt completely different from when he went into them before. He felt completely chilled out.

'Alright mate?' it was the guy Bradley had seen earlier. He seemed quieter this time and more relaxed.
'You buzzing?' said the guy.
'It feels amazing!' replied Bradley as he looked at his reflection in the mirror and felt that even his own reflection was good looking.

'Wow, I look good!' he exclaimed.
'So do I,' replied the other guy as he also looked in the mirror.
'What's your name?' he asked Bradley.
'Bradley, what's yours?'
'Joe,' the guy replied 'what pills you on?'
'Sovereigns,' replied Bradley.
'Nice, I got hold of one of them, they are well nice pills,' replied Joe as he left to go back to the dance floor
'See you in a bit,' he said.

Back on the dance floor Bradley was still feeling good and saw Nikki dancing with Tina.
'You having a good time?' asked Tina.
'Brilliant time!' exclaimed Bradley.
'We have just taken another pill,' added Nikki 'you still buzzing?'
'At the moment,' replied Bradley 'shall I take the other half now?'
'Might be a good idea,' replied Tina 'you have only taken half so it?s best that you don't let it wear off too quickly,' she said as she handed Nikki a bottle of water.
Bradley then took the second half of the pill and followed Nikki back to the seating area.
'I might go out for some fresh air in a minute;' she said 'can you come with me?'
'If you want,' replied Bradley 'are you ok?'
'Just taken another pill, I wouldn't mind chilling outside for a bit,' replied Nikki as Rhonda sat next to them.

'We might head outside for a bit,' said Nikki to Rhonda 'will we still be able to get back in?'
'I think if you go out the way we came near the bar then Stu could let you back in,' replied Rhonda.
They made their way to the bar and out the side door.
'Are you guys coming back in? asked Stu.
'Just getting some fresh air,' replied Nikki.
'Cool, see you in a bit,' replied Stu as they left and went back into the street.

The night outside felt calm and cooler than inside the club, Bradley noticed that the sky looked more clear that usual and he realised that he had never admired the mid night sky before.

'What do you think?' asked Nikki to Bradley 'you enjoying it?'
'It's been amazing,' replied Bradley 'it doesn?t feel as strong as earlier though,'
'It wears off slightly but you have taken the next half so it should come back,' replied Nikki as they made their way towards a bench.
'It is so nice here;' she said 'I am so glad that you are here with me,'
'So am I,' replied Bradley 'thanks for inviting me,'
'I wanted you to see what it feels like, and I have missed it,' she admitted.
'I am glad that we met each other, can't believe that it was only a couple of weeks ago,' added Bradley.
'Me either,' replied Nikki 'I care about you so much,' she said as she held his hand. They spent the next half an hour talking about a lot of things. They both felt really close to each to each other, the whole night seemed perfect and slowly they both felt themselves coming up again.

'Might head back inside in a bit?' suggested Nikki as she started feeling the drugs kicking in again 'I'm feeling really good now,'
'Me too,' replied Bradley as the feeling started coming back and they made their way towards the club and through the side entrance past Stu who gave them a friendly nod as they headed towards the dance floor.

'OK everyone I want you all to make some more noise for the next DJ,' called out MC Big Bear down the microphone.
'This guy has come all the way down from Essex; I want you all to put your hands together for the one and only DJ Slipdeck!'
There was a cheer from the crowed as Slipdeck played his first tune and the crowed got moving and the MC started buzzing.
'I want to see you all put your hands together for the Slipdeck, show your appreciation and make some noise!'

On the dance floor Tina was dancing with a random guy that she had met while Rhonda and Gav were at the seating area.
'You two having a good time?' called out Rhonda as Bradley and Nikki went over towards the table.
'Brilliant!' replied Nikki 'how are you both?'
'I am ok, not sure about Gav though!' she joked as Gav seemed to be completely in a trance with the music and seemed to be having the time of his life.
'Nikki, Bradley, thanks for coming,' he said as they sat down next to him 'what you think of the pills?'
'Amazing replied Nikki 'the best I have had in a long time,'
'I agree, I feel ****ed,' added Gav 'and you guys are so cool!'
'Wow, you really are ****ed,' teased Rhonda.
'Thanks for inviting us,' added Bradley.
'That's cool, man,' replied Gav 'I am glad you are enjoying it, the first time is always the best!'

The next hour was spent between dancing and chilling out. Slipdeck was a brilliant DJ and even the MC had to take a short break from dancing. Eventually it was getting time for the club to close and people started heading out of the club. Tina had decided to stay out with a guy that she had met on the dance floor while Nikki wanted to go back to Gav and Rhonda's.
They were all still feeling the effects of the drugs as they got back to the flat and Bradley and Nikki were allowed to sleep in Gav and Rhonda's room and spent some time talking before the effects wore of completely and they started to fall asleep.

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Originally posted by Captain Triceps:

Also the dialogue could do with being more realistic, although this could be completely subjective. Again though, I'm afraid I found the conversations boring.

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Originally posted by Audio Warfare:

quote:

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Originally posted by Captain Triceps:

Also the dialogue could do with being more realistic, although this could be completely subjective. Again though, I'm afraid I found the conversations boring.

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Yes this too. You need to give each character their own personality. It can't be what sounds like the same person with different names. Also you need to build up each characters back story, make them a believable person. Make people love or hate them. If it's just name A did this name B did that it makes very boring reading.

Take each character, right up a back story on them as a seperate worksheet and start shoehorning it into the story where you can. Give some an accent if you want, certain personality traits. Build, build, build, same as the description paddings.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Captain Triceps:

quote:

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Originally posted by Audio Warfare:

quote:

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Originally posted by Captain Triceps:

Also the dialogue could do with being more realistic, although this could be completely subjective. Again though, I'm afraid I found the conversations boring.

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Yes this too. You need to give each character their own personality. It can't be what sounds like the same person with different names. Also you need to build up each characters back story, make them a believable person. Make people love or hate them. If it's just name A did this name B did that it makes very boring reading.

Take each character, right up a back story on them as a separate worksheet and start shoehorning it into the story where you can. Give some an accent if you want, certain personality traits. Build, build, build, same as the description paddings.

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Fancy writing a book b2b mate?

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Originally posted by Hard2Get:
You two could write an erotic novel together. Featuring yourselves.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Audio Warfare:

quote:

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Originally posted by Hard2Get:
You two could write an erotic novel together. Featuring yourselves.

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Sounds good. 50 Shades of Gay.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Audio Warfare:

quote:

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Originally posted by Hard2Get:
You two could write an erotic novel together. Featuring yourselves.

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Sounds good. 50 Shades of Gay.

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