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JayHH86
Advanced Member
Vietnam
1,400 posts
Joined: Dec, 2008
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 Posted - 2011/07/10 : 17:29:47
I'm in two minds about what to do.
As you all know, I'm swanning around in Asia getting pissed and chilling out.
Last week clocked up ten months of being in Asia. When I first set out to do this, and when people asked me what I was going for, I said "To achieve a total state of relaxation for a year". I've definitely achieved that, and am still enjoying doing nothing in exotic locations, but this weekend, out of nowhere, I really started to miss being home. It was my best mates birthday weekend, Freeformation got me thinking about raving and just socialising in general - and I've just been feeling really low.
The place I'm staying at at the moment is really remote and secluded, and I think that might be having a big effect on me - staying in the same place all-day every-day.
I've got enough money to last me until January, at least, and I've got a mate that may or may not come out for a few months in September - which, coincidentally is when I'll have to fork out a substantial wedge of cash for another six months travel insurance.
I really don't know what to do. If my mate says he'll definitely come in September then that changes everything and I'll be pumped. But if not - I dunno what I'd be staying for. Almost feels like it would just be for the sake of it - just see out the time and the money.
I almost feel like I'm half way to deciding coming home just be saying all this, really. I am genuinely still enjoying being out here, but I've got to the point where I don't know if I'm enjoying it enough vs being home/paying for the privilege of doing something for a few more months, when I've already been doing it for so long.
What do you guys reckon?
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djDMS
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United Kingdom
10,304 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
572 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 17:46:25
Well, i was hoping i'd never have to meet you but it looks like that could end up happening! Seriously though mate, it does sound like you want to come home, but would you still feel the same once you return to 'real life'. Maybe your current location and lack of activity is giving you too much thinking time, do you have another move planned at all? If you did move location again, it might make you enjoy your (annoyingly privileged) position again - alternatively, it could confirm how much you miss things at home. Whatever you decide and wherever you are, you've still got plenty of fun times to look forward to (albeit it slightly more liberal over here). I can see a heroes welcome when you do return, everybody is dying to meet you! And sorry about the mega paragraph, my phone doesn't let me leave gaps!
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JayHH86
Advanced Member
Vietnam
1,400 posts
Joined: Dec, 2008
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 17:59:23
This is probably the biggest question I'm asking myself:
"Seriously though mate, it does sound like you want to come home, but would you still feel the same once you return to 'real life'."
Am I gonna (if I decide to) get back to England, touch down, collect my baggage, be waiting for a train and think "You fcuking idiot".
Ahh God I really don't know.
It probably comes off in my persona on here - I'm really, really mate-orientated, and am extraordinarily close with my mates back home. I think it's just got to a point where the novelty of being out here has worn off, I'm checking facebook a lot, seeing my mates (even though it's the usual, normal stuff) having a laugh - and I'm thinking "Ahh man, I really miss that".
Like you say though - location is a factor. I've spent six months in Saigon, doing the same stuff most days (although there's more variation in what I can do) and I've never once felt this low, or bored. So my plan is to go back there ASAP. Then, in early August I'm flying to Thailand to meet a good mate that's on holiday with his girlfriend. Who knows, after that I might feel different, or it might just hammer home how much I miss being with friends.
Everyone was having bets on how long I'd last when I left. I think the longest anyone gave me was four months - purely because (and I don't want to say because I'm "a social person") I'm always the first in the pub, organising nights out - just never on my own.
I guess they got the extent of my reslieance wrong, but the overall idea right.
Looks like that's it then - unless my mate can tell me soon he's coming out in September, looks like I'm coming home! I've e-mailed him tonight. Let's see what he says.
Any raves in October.........?
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Hard2Get
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United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:05:30
Possibly much of what you are feeling is due to 'the grass being greener on the other side' after hearing of all the fun times going on here; you're always going to want that which you don't currently have even if it's not actually better, just for lack of appreciation for what you do have (not you personally, it's the same for everyone). No doubt you do genuinly want to be here to some extent too either way. If it was me i would want to make the most of the place I'm in currently. You say your staying in the same place all day; why don't you go out and explore? I can't think of much worse than visiting an exotic place but not actually experiancing any of it. I feel that the place you're in is probably actually perfect but just lacks the people, as you say (for me my friends are everything).
I really wish i had a passport and money for flights because I'm pretty certain i would come visit as i have said before. Although that's only a short term problem.
Edit: Either way what you're faced with isn't remotely a problem. You have the choice to do either which is far more than most have. Maybe try coming home for a while? If you don't like it you can go back. It might be expensive but at least you'll know what you really want. The beauty of it is you can try both without any real loss.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2011/07/10 18:11:25 |
whispering
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Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:08:54
You wouldn't even believe how jealous i am for you TBH. Like djDMS said, its probably just the location that doesn't fit your character. You left for a reason, if you leave mid way you might regret it afterwards. If you go through your original plan, you just did that. Though if it's not fun anymore, anywhere, then i suppose going home would be the right thing to do.
Just out of curiosity, how much money roughly have you been using per month? I'm hoping someday to do a month trip. Anything longer would be impossible with my job, mortgage and all that.
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JayHH86
Advanced Member
Vietnam
1,400 posts
Joined: Dec, 2008
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:10:21
quote:
Originally posted by Hard2Get:
Possibly much of what you are feeling is due to 'the grass being greener on the other side' after hearing of all the fun times going on here. No doubt you do genuinly want to be here to some extent too either way. If it was me i would want to make the most of the place I'm in currently. You say your staying in the same place all day; why don't you go out and explore? I can't think of much worse than visiting an exotic place but not actually experiancing any of it. I feel that the place you're in is probably actually perfect but just lacks the people, as you say (for me my friends are everything).
I really wish i had a passport and money for flights because I'm pretty certain i would come visit as i have said before. Although that's only a short term problem.
I hear what you're saying Matt.
I've been over the whole island. Basically, it's really under-developed. A lot of older travellers I've met have compared it to Thailand in the 80'.s I rented a motorbike on a number of occasions and went all over the island, but there's basically nothing. It was only in recent years that large parts of the island were de-militarized - so there's hardly anything other than the odd resort (like mine) or the main town. I'm here in low season as well, so there's hardly anyone here.
And as you say, the "people" is a big aspect. I've met some good people - just as many as in Saigon, on a per week ratio - but, I dunno. I'm just feeling different.
I must sound like such a prick. My biggest worry is "Do I stay in paradise or go home to my mates". Idiot.
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Hard2Get
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United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:13:37
quote:
Originally posted by JayHH86:
I must sound like such a prick. My biggest worry is "Do I stay in paradise or go home to my mates". Idiot.
Not remotely. It's not a real dilemma either way. Try both. Then you will know, thus you have nothing to worry about.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2011/07/10 18:14:31 |
JayHH86
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Vietnam
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Joined: Dec, 2008
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:16:35
quote:
Originally posted by whispering:
You wouldn't even believe how jealous i am for you TBH. Like djDMS said, its probably just the location that doesn't fit your character. You left for a reason, if you leave mid way you might regret it afterwards. If you go through your original plan, you just did that. Though if it's not fun anymore, anywhere, then i suppose going home would be the right thing to do.
Just out of curiosity, how much money roughly have you been using per month? I'm hoping someday to do a month trip. Anything longer would be impossible with my job, mortgage and all that.
I'm trying to look at it from that very perspective mate - "Will I regret going now, or in four or five months time?" And to be honest, because of the nature of my agenda/trip, I don't think it matters. I didn't come out here to "see the world" and all that jazz - purely to be lazy and do nothing. So, it's not like I've got scared, or cold feet and am going to miss a load of pre-determined locations.
As for your question about expense - In Vietnam I've been staying in what you would call the top end backpacker accomodation - Wi-Fi, fridge, hot water, double bed, air-con. That'll be 16-18 dollars (US) a night. On a monthly basis, with hotel included, and a relatively comprehensive schedule of drinking, you're looking at 800 US dollars a month. Vietnam is one of the more cheaper places. The same plan in Thailand would probably take you closer to 1000 dollars a month.
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Hard2Get
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United Kingdom
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:17:35
If you come home early you'll have money to go back still. Both countries are only a plane ride away.
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JayHH86
Advanced Member
Vietnam
1,400 posts
Joined: Dec, 2008
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:21:32
quote:
Originally posted by Hard2Get:
If you come home early you'll have money to go back still. Both countries are only a plane ride away.
Yes and no. A flight - each way - takes a month off your budget. So if you had five months left - to go home, then come back , you're looking at barely three. If I went home, I wouldn't come back. It would be a stupid waste of money. Make the the decision - stick with it. But you're right - I'll have money to come back to, and feel comfortable.
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DJ_FunDaBounce
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Colombia
2,085 posts
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:25:20
quote:
Originally posted by JayHH86:
I must sound like such a prick. My biggest worry is "Do I stay in paradise or go home to my mates". Idiot.
From the looks of it appears you no longer feel it's paradise. Also, how long does a break from "reality" need to be? You need to have something different (dare I say it) like work to actually contrast with the leisure time, don't you think?
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Hard2Get
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:36:37
quote:
Originally posted by DJ_FunDaBounce:
quote:
Originally posted by JayHH86:
I must sound like such a prick. My biggest worry is "Do I stay in paradise or go home to my mates". Idiot.
From the looks of it appears you no longer feel it's paradise. Also, how long does a break from "reality" need to be? You need to have something different (dare I say it) like work to actually contrast with the leisure time, don't you think?
Reality is whatever you make it. You don't live to work, you work to live. No one does it because they want to. If you want to challenge yourself there is many ways that are actually beneficial to you but that dosn't need to include conventional work if you can afford not to do it.
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djDMS
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United Kingdom
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 18:47:17
You don't sound like a prick Jay (well, no more than usual)! Like you said, friends are important, and paradise or not, there are still things from back home that can't be replaced (even by chicks with dicks). You'll make the right decision when the time's right. And as long as you return with enough money to buy me a beer i don't mind when it is. Bear in mind i'm not getting any younger though...
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Vitalism
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Canada
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Posted - 2011/07/10 : 19:35:51
stick it out where you are. wont take long before you're re-acquainted with permanent boredom and wanderlust at home again.
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JayHH86
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Vietnam
1,400 posts
Joined: Dec, 2008
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Posted - 2011/07/11 : 13:23:13
quote:
Originally posted by DJ_FunDaBounce:
From the looks of it appears you no longer feel it's paradise. Also, how long does a break from "reality" need to be? You need to have something different (dare I say it) like work to actually contrast with the leisure time, don't you think?
I understand what you're saying mate. First thing - I wasn't necessarily taking a break from reality. I didn't "need to get away from it all" or anything like that. Even after the relatively short period of employment of five years, I quickly came to the "Is this all there fcuking is for the next forty years?" conclusion/question. So, in a symbolic two fingers to that, I decided to take the opportunity, and spend one final long period of time completely rid of meaningful responsibility. This won't happen again in my adult lift - not unless a) Hardcore Highlights goes global, or, more realistically, when I'm retired.
And secondly - yes, I understand the "need the shit stuff to make the good stuff feel good" theory. But, I tell you what, not one day during my five years of toil did I ever think "Ahh, so glad I'm at work today - makes the weekend extra special". The more common of my thoughts was "This is fcuking ridiculous. You get five years to piss about when you're born. Then school. The Uni. Then debt-ridden work for forty five years. Then you retire. Probably get cancer and only spend three years worth of your hard earned pension before you die". Slightly pessimistic, but essentially a sound encapsulation of life.
quote:
Originally posted by djDMS:
You don't sound like a prick Jay (well, no more than usual)! Like you said, friends are important, and paradise or not, there are still things from back home that can't be replaced (even by chicks with dicks). You'll make the right decision when the time's right. And as long as you return with enough money to buy me a beer i don't mind when it is. Bear in mind i'm not getting any younger though...
Ha ha! That last line creased me up. I'll make sure I have money for a beer and a rave or two, most definitely.
In general - feeling a bit better about things today. The weather has been glorious, I spent about 30 on Hard Beats Download on some new tunes (still didn't brave NUNRG100 and My Rave because of shit internet issues). So that's cheered me up. Also been looking at accomodation in Thailand where I'm meeting a mate and his missus at the start of August. And a pretty fit bird is knocking about the hotel today. Hopefully she hasn't got some hunk of a boyfriend lurking in the background and I've just not seen him. Unfortunately, though, I shaved this morning for the first time in about a month, so I look like a 15 year old girl now - and since she's about 30, so I'm not sure I'm gonna have much luck.
Overall, a lot hinges on my mate coming out in September (or not). If he doesn't, I'll be looking at late August, maybe September to come back. I feel comfortable with that. Would have done my year, still have some cash left and be looking forward to getting home.
Thanks to everyone for your replies. It was nice to get impartial advice, kind of thing. My mates probably would have taken the piss, and my mum would have booked a flight for me tomorrow, ha!
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Hard2Get
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United Kingdom
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Posted - 2011/07/11 : 14:01:50
quote:
Slightly pessimistic, but essentially a sound encapsulation of life.
The sad thing is that most people don't even seem to get as far as to question it like you have.
quote:
Unfortunately, though, I shaved this morning for the first time in about a month, so I look like a 15 year old girl now
LOL.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2011/07/11 14:03:25 |
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