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lucificifus
Advanced Member
United States
1,518 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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 Posted - 2005/07/15 : 07:49:20
Am I the only person here that gets a total hardon for TPM?
For those of you that don't have a clue about what I'm talking about...
I have this little chip in my Fujitsu Lifebook TD4010 that enables hardware functionality of a little thing called TPM or trusted platform module. It is a hardware data encryptor IN MY LAPTOP! This means that I can ON THE FLY encrypt and decrypt files on my harddrive! I have a 1 gig encrypted sector on my computer that NO ONE CAN ACCESS, even from Linux boot discs! And because its a hardware encryptor, the algorythm key is NOWHERE ON THE HARDDRIVE! I can also digitally sign emails via PGP with my HARDWARE!
Now here is the major downfall of this product...
Lets say you have a nice ol' Dell computer! Yay! You have a computer!
Now, even better, its the FUTURE :O!!!
And, you have the brand spakin' new version of... bum bum bummmmm
MICROSOFT WINDOWS CODENAME LONGHORN! :O
And you are all beaming and smiling, and yay yay yay, you are in the future, right? So, because your in the future, you start downloading SUPER COOL 3D GAMES :O And they are so super cool!
But they are only demos :( Oh well! you say, Because I'm in the future! I'll just download my game off of a pay-per-play site! So you go to google.com and punch in Halo 4 PC and click search. Yay! its right here!
so you click your way through the site... and hey! All you need is a Microsoft Passport! So you type in
LOGIN: [email protected]
PASS: **************
and BOOM! You're in! Now just to input your credit card...
But wait... it says that its ALREADY DOWNLOADED! SWEET! SUPERCOOL! OMFG!! :O
So your playing your new game, and hey, everything is running super swell, and Windows is humming along great! But, suddenly, you lose in your game, and you throw your keyboard against your wall! :O what anger! well, the 100 keys being pressed at once launches the helpbots of 4 programs, causing you to lose patience with the lag and reboot your computer with gusto and force by unplugging the sonufabitch.
So you reboot, and the 10 second startup takes.. wait, this time it took 40 seconds...
So, you log in... there is this STRANGE message awaiting you with a Microsoft Logo!
MICROSOFT LOGO GOES HERE:
Dear Connor:
Windows Blackbox has informed us that you have crashed! We are very sorry, and here at Microsoft, we have every intention of fixing this problem. As we understand it, programs.HELPBOT=4 caused your problem while you were playing Halo5.exe, purchased with credit card **************6783 on Microsoft Affiliate Gamesite #2422 Hotgames.net with Microsoft Passport [email protected]. We noticed that your Passport is expired. Before we can offer any support for your problem you will need to activate a new Passport account. Be sure to have your credit card ready!
I wake up from the nightmare. I stare at my wonderful TPM laptop, and consider switching back to Linux before SP2 turns into Longhorn...
*EDIT forgot to add this in*
Welcome to the wonderful world of Windows Blackbox. It tracks everything on your computer and encrypts it on the fly. Every porno you illegally download, every song, every serial. Yeah, it'll stop piracy. But at what cost? Now Microsoft knows everything about you, what you like, and now they know how to at no cost to them market to you. As Scott Brown once said "This is the future..."
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Edited by - lucificifus on 2005/07/15 08:04:56 |
NobodyCares
Starting Member
United States
2 posts
Joined: Jul, 2005
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Posted - 2005/07/15 : 08:17:51
Although I agree about the apparent evils of the Windows Blackbox, I think that you have overlooked the target audience for Windows. Most windows users couldn't possible care less (and usually don't even know) that their every action and keystroke is being recorded. The target consumer for windows is John Smith, with 2.3 kids and absolutely no real knowledge about computers. What it really boils down to is the fact that for anyone who really gives a s**t about anything like the windows blackbox, it's time to make a switch to Linux. And for those who don't want to pirate anything, and just want to look at porn and send email, have fun with the shinier Longhorn interface. What I'm saying, is that it doesn't make sense to really complain about Microsoft policy, because nothing is going to change, short of a revolution or a grassroots movement.
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lucificifus
Advanced Member
United States
1,518 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2005/07/15 : 08:20:40
Tight, right on, man
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lucificifus
Advanced Member
United States
1,518 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2005/07/16 : 01:17:24
Cmon, read it :( I think its really interesting! Its well written I promise :D
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djDMS
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
10,304 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
572 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/07/16 : 01:39:48
Brilliantly written my friend.
Just a pity that i didn't understand one damn word of it!!!
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Arguably one of the best
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Taking my time to perfect the beat
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lucificifus
Advanced Member
United States
1,518 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2005/07/16 : 04:13:50
Ha! Mabey thats why no one is responding :D
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mr bishi
Advanced Member
Ireland
874 posts
Joined: Mar, 2002
49 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/07/16 : 15:11:45
I'll stick to ME I reckon.
http://www.irishhardcore.co.nr
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http://www.irishclubbing.net
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lucificifus
Advanced Member
United States
1,518 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2005/07/16 : 18:42:42
quote:
Originally posted by mr bishi:
I'll stick to ME I reckon.
http://www.irishhardcore.co.nr
GOOD! but Win9x = ick
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