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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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 Posted - 2007/10/14 : 11:31:04
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
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MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled
engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
  Oh dear!
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:)
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Knightmare
Advanced Member
Belgium
1,700 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
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Posted - 2007/10/14 : 11:37:32
made me chuckle :p
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!CORE 4 LIFE!
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nightfire
New Member
United Kingdom
49 posts
Joined: Jun, 2007
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Posted - 2007/10/14 : 15:38:02
thats oh so true!!!
any funny as ****
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Quicksilver
Advanced Member
Sweden
2,545 posts
Joined: Jul, 2007
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Posted - 2007/10/14 : 15:46:04
Hahaha hilarious!
__________________________________
a.k.a. Phaaze
My SOUNDCLOUD
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Smoogie
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,504 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006
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Posted - 2007/10/14 : 18:58:19
Just an excuse to make the men drive to the ATM so the woman can stay at home and talk on the phone in the comfort of their living room... 
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.
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Da Cunney Bugz
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,222 posts
Joined: Oct, 2005
25 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/10/15 : 14:22:27
28. slag off all your best mates
29. comment on how fat the lady across the road is
30. make pre-sumptions about the perosn at the bus stop
31. question the fella's night out
32. slag off mate once again
33. go over the fella's night out again
34. cross reference the two nght out stories
35. ponder for hours on the two stories to look for loop holes
36. throw the old 'my mate said she say you in town' comment in to gauge reaction
37. argue with the fella
38. tell the fella your finished
39. 10 minutes later down the fella's pants, while at the same time loosing all respect for one's self
40. menopause
41. cosmetic surgery
42. start top sag
43. die
44. fella gets a young bird
45. cycle re-starts at cash machine
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GaMMeR WoTs It
GaMMeR Do Do
GaMMeR GaH GaH
*I LOVE YOU*
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