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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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 Posted - 2007/10/15 : 08:30:48
How To Shower Like a Woman
* Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower.
* Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit and mint enhanced conditioner.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
* Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
* Get in the shower.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
* Wash your hair.
* Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Wee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
* Admire willy size in mirror again.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
* If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.
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:)
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Smoogie
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,504 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006
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 Posted - 2007/10/15 : 12:20:25
So thats why woman take so long in the shower! I have to admit I leave a few puddles on the floor by the shower as well and when running a bath I leave the water running a bit too long... 
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Da Cunney Bugz
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,222 posts
Joined: Oct, 2005
25 hardcore releases
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 Posted - 2007/10/15 : 14:12:04
poor stu :(
these i hate men posts are just going to get worse as they years slowly drag on :P lol
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GaMMeR WoTs It
GaMMeR Do Do
GaMMeR GaH GaH
*I LOVE YOU*
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2007/10/15 : 16:30:28
quote:
Originally posted by Da Cunney Bugz:
poor stu :(
these i hate men posts are just going to get worse as they years slowly drag on :P lol
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:)
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