ill tell you exactly what happened to me then.ok!!

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 17:21:47

in this life....this wonderful techno life...
i was brought into a home in england....
from a long working and travelling past...
from abroad and zillions of years of past lifes...
and somehow i was brought into this hurt house
in southampton right...along with three sisters and
a brother and cockney and mockney people backing
them all the way....i was a quiet shy and retired kind of girl...
athletic and slightly sexy looking in an ugly way.....
and so i knew all this past work right from an early age...
so i never wanted to go to school and i just wanted to keep
myself to myself just growing up in this hurt house and then
somehow getting the past accounts and keeping it all to myself.

and so i was dragged through thick and thin from there on....
schools colleges...it was difficult for me...as i was from so many
other unique places....but i got the grasp of it all and began to succeed...
like really succeed...people around me locally could all see it.even i could see it
at one point in my girls school.i felt like a winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then got into alot of trouble outside of school...with local criminals...
who were jealous and wanted to kill me off with drugs cos they were
uneducated and couldnt work out why i was so sexy and succesful
lookin.but i was still a modest shy girl inside and just wanted to
be quite a geek at heart...like a technical geek with maths and sciences
to back my every move into the new worlds of music and fashion
and any other world for that matter.

but i gave up.in the drug dealers homes...i just said **** it.ill do your
drugs...wouldnt last that long...nievely thinking it could be just danced
off or something....like they just got me this thin and athlectic at school...
this could be the same sort of process...but slowly at college in 1995
it all started taking its toll....going out to raves such as tazmania and
rhythm station...and trying to keep my cool in fashion college...
and in the meantime the local criminals all get their kick in piling
more and more drugs down my throat whenever they get to chat
or to be close to me.which was quite often actually more like...
twice a week.

and so with all this past in mind...and the bank accounts...and the
re education...i was paranoid!!! i was walking to college with a knife
in my bag thinking someone was really out to get me.i needed protection.
and my family and friends were like whatever! we dont care now...
but then it got so pressurised i just quit with it all...and my parents
started to see me getting really unwell.like abusive unwell...in an
angry way and my athletic shape was dispearing into a skinny
evil looking old witch.

plus everyone else who wanted a kick in...was getting away with it...
rumours and slyness all day and night.that girl shes evil!
that girl done this to my daughter! arrested and banned from many places
just cos i only needed strong protection.it was a cry for help for a big
strong hard man to just hold me and let me cry instead of being this
sexy and succesful girl...just cry as a girl shy and retired and unwell for once.

but i couldnt.so i just got home from college...along the way seeing shane and
this hard girl from the park and then this rocker about 7 foot tall...just the people
you dont wanna see.i was like...is this it.is this my future what im going to become..
either a petty criminal or a bully or a big occult rocker.

i thought **** it.i know what i listen to i know what music and fashions
make me happiest...so i went home and had a shower.i was naked still slightly
thinking people were out to get me...and knock knock!! you have to go
to the mental hospital natalie! im like...okay...(see if they know anything whats
going on)

so i got their and just slept for 6 months...i was exhausted!!!! dancing raving
zillions of years work education schools colleges drugs....and i was asleep
for 6 months.a sexy succesful girl....knackered.

i started to wake for mealtimes and just to have cigerettes and see what it was all about...
forgetting everything...my mind went right back to square one! once again...
i was just an average girl...got hold of anything for clues and inspiration...

finally came home and it was a nightmare! medications and sickness and shitting
and vomitting and aftercares and treatments...with a fine blend of kicking and
screaming and fighting and noice pollution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i screamed the house down cos it was so noisy! crying out for help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
noone to be seen for miles.online at eminem abuse and noise and noone around...
talking to myself...talking to people who are just bored too...anyone there??????
nothing.

no plans.no future.but i started to get a reality check only slightly a couple
of years back...my minds still not right....under pressure obviously of fans
and of people saying get offline and piss off we dont want you....
this sexy and succesful girl was now a loser and looking like a cheat!!!!!!!!!
so i had enough of that one too...and just hacked into my past bank
accounts and lottos and gave it all away ellions of pounds...even to celebrities..
even to people who are poor....to anyone.just for some sort of life satisfaction
that i was still an ordinary 29 year old girl.that was still successful and still sexy.

but it turns out im right here aint i.just as bored and non sexy as ever in many
peoples eyes.

and so...i have nothing....but im telling you....if you ever feel like this story
is happening to you...can you confess to people that are around you normally...
cos its wrong to just keep it all a secret.ok its dangerous for you all.ok

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youngson
Junior Member

United Kingdom
106 posts
Joined: Oct, 2003

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 17:46:21

I think you have OCD

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 18:22:16

.....stand back and think of the things you love to
be inspired about in this technical world....
cars...fashion....hardcore....women....men.....
music....colours.....

and say....nah! that one was definately aimed at me!
this one! has nothing to do with me! so im going
to have to ditch it.ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 18:45:23

anyway...reality now people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am i going to ditch happy hardcore and all
what was apparent in my rave days????

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SPOOX
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
2,644 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 18:52:34

quote:
Originally posted by nataliegemmahaigh1978:
anyway...reality now people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am i going to ditch happy hardcore and all
what was apparent in my rave days????

Who cares!!!

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Smoogie
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
6,504 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 18:59:42

You slept for sixth months? Where did you go raving?

Oh, and are you going to be giving away anymore money...

__________________________________
.

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 19:36:44

...i didnt like that one!

wheres all the happy happy! im so sexy tracks!!!

*yawns*

ergh.

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 19:40:12

i went to
four tazmanias
five rhythm stations
six shabeens
seven drug dens

and eight......

i dunno....

no i hope not to give away things anymore....
its crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 19:43:18

th amount of times i was sleeping on lsd in my sisters room
the amount of times i was masterbating on speed cos no boyfriend
the amount of times i was going white eyed on mdma in front of
college people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the amount of times i fainted on cannabis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the amount of times i was fat in front of ex true loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its all making me think otherwise about hardcore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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nataliegemmahaigh1978
Banned

United Kingdom
130 posts
Joined: Feb, 2008

Posted - 2008/02/13 : 19:49:35

i died on a camp bed....my sister and her black boyfriend and
kids took my ****in room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i swam at the skanky pool round the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

adult lane swimming....about 219 laps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i got on my yellow banana shoes and i walked up the street
and i couldnt walk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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fazza
Advanced Member