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Iron Titan
Starting Member
United States
3 posts
Joined: Jul, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/07/19 : 03:19:19
Aiight this is something that is needed. If you have a good one feel free to post it. Soooo I'm gonna kick this off.
A rich guy, a gay guy, and a druggie all die and go to heaven. They all ask God for a second chance at life. God agrees as long as the rich guy promises to never pick up any money off the street again, the druggie promises to never to do any drugs again, and that the gay guy never screws another man. They all agree and are back on earth. Next day the druggie sees some of his friends smoking pot and joins them. He lights up takes a puff and POOF he disapears. Meanwhile the rich guy is walking down the sidewalk and sees a dollar on the ground he thinks for a second bends down to pick it up and POOF . . . . . . . . . . . . . The gay guy disapears.
Now let's hear those jokes.
-Pain is just weakness leaving your body-
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tunnelrush
Advanced Member
United States
1,831 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/07/19 : 04:49:57
if you wanna read some good jokes there are several in another thread called "awesome jokes" in the general discusion.
But while im at it ill tell you a cute joke my baby cousin told me yesterday...
What do you call a rabbit that listens to rap? A Hip-Hopper 
<>If the bass is too loud, you are too weak<>
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<Pioneer CDJ-1000 Mk3's
<Mackie D.2 w Firewire
<M-Audio BX8's/ Peavey 15" Neo
<Sennheiser HD25's/Technics RPDJ 1200
<Tracktion 2
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DjTriatomic
Average Member
United States
229 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 07:41:21
lol, nice one tunnelrusher, congratulate the little one
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DJ Superman
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,192 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
46 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 14:09:24
what do you call a Russian prostitute??
onya bakyabitch
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 whizz-billy-the-kid's got you in his sights
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whizz-billy-the-kid's got you in his sights
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Dj_Old_Skool
New Member
United Kingdom
42 posts
Joined: Feb, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 15:21:53
Mr Cadbury and Ms Rowntree met on a coach journey, it was After Eight. She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend.
On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum & Butter and she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name, "Polo - I'm the one with the hole", she said. "I'm the one with the Nuts", he thought. Then he touched her Milky Way.
They checked in and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt the contrast of her Double Decker. Then he showed her his Curly Wurly. But Ms Rowntree wasn't keen as she already had a few Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight.
When he came out his Fun Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more but he decided to take a Time Out. However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetising. So he did a Twirl and had a Picnic in her Sherbert. At the same time he gave her a Gob Stopper.
Unfortunately Mr Cadbury had to go home to his wife ,Caramel. Sadly, he was soon to discover he had caught V.D. It turns out Ms Rowntree had a Box of Assorted Creams. She had been with All Sorts.
Tony.
Let The Bass Drum Go!!!!!
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Let The Bass Drum Go!!!!!
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SEEKY
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
770 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 15:31:14
We already have too many joke topics!!!
Es , SPEED , TRIPS AND BLOW HERE WE ****ING GO!
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You Heard The Jam And Now Rock It!
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DJ Affliction
Junior Member
United Kingdom
123 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
149 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 17:04:35
quote:
Originally posted by tunnelrush89:
if you wanna read some good jokes there are several in another thread called "awesome jokes" in the general discusion.
But while im at it ill tell you a cute joke my baby cousin told me yesterday...
What do you call a rabbit that listens to rap? A Hip-Hopper
<>If the bass is too loud, you are too weak<>
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Everything is random, your probably not ment to read this!!!!!!!!
DJ Affliction
[email protected]
[email protected]
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Everything is random, your probably not ment to read this!!!!!!!!
DJ Affliction
[email protected]
[email protected]
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hyperdance
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
522 posts
Joined: Jul, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 17:26:33
Your mums so nasty she brings crabs to the beech.
Your mum's so dumb she stuck a batterry up her ass and said i've got the power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your mums so stupid i told her to take out the trash and she moved
ur mums so dumb she tried to drown a fish
ur mums so fat she had to get baptised in da sea
ur mums so fat when she wore a yellow raincoat people shouted taxi
ur mummz so fat dat she had to use a matress 4 a tampon
ur mom iz so fat dat her mobile number came up on the wayin scales
Your mum's so ugly, she has to do trick or treat over the phone
your mums so nasty, she made right guard turn left.
some favourites of mine. shud remember some more.
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its funny because its true!!
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its funny because its true!!
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DJ Affliction
Junior Member
United Kingdom
123 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
149 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 17:55:34
Nice1 m8
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Everything is random, your probably not ment to read this!!!!!!!!
DJ Affliction
[email protected]
[email protected]
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_____________________________________________________________
Everything is random, your probably not ment to read this!!!!!!!!
DJ Affliction
[email protected]
[email protected]
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hyperdance
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
522 posts
Joined: Jul, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/07/19 : 19:54:18
why thank u.
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its funny because its true!!
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its funny because its true!!
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Iron Titan
Starting Member
United States
3 posts
Joined: Jul, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 19:57:26
The reason I started this thread is cuz I couldn't find the other one. Oh well.
-Pain is just weakness leaving your body-
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-Pain is just weakness leaving your body-
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DJ Superman
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,192 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
46 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 20:39:06
that's ok mate, here it is
http://www.happyhardcore.com/forums/topic.asp?whichpage=2&TOPIC_ID=13663
enjoy!
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whizz-billy-the-kid's got you in his sights
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whizz-billy-the-kid's got you in his sights
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Dave Murray
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,675 posts
Joined: Jan, 2003
136 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 20:47:58
What do you call a russian with 3 testicles?
whodidyounickabollockoff.
Heh!
*Bows*
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Your all newbies
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<3 Trance
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Soul Erosion
Starting Member
United States
17 posts
Joined: Feb, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 22:08:44
This is my favorite joke. ;)
Three men go to hell.
Satan approaches the first and asks "Why do you think you're here?"
"Well," replied the first man "I wasted my life away. All I ever did was drink a lot. I drank like a fish!"
"Right this way" instructs Satan and takes him to a room. Upon opening the door, he discovers there inside, as far as the eye can see, shelves and shelves of the hardest, evaporate-off-your-tongue, moonshine ever made. Satan throws him in the room and locks the door.
Satan approaches the second man and asks "Why do you think you're here?"
"Well," replied the second man "I cheated, man. I cheated on my wife so many times."
"Right this way." instructs Satan and takes him to a room. Upon opening the door, he discovers there inside, as far as the eye can see, tons and tons of breath-takingly beautiful naked women. Satan throws him in the room and locks the door.
Satan approaches the third man and asks "Why do you think you're here?"
"Well," replied the third man "I don't rightly know. I didn't harm nobody through my life, never did drink much, never cheated on my wife. Why.....all I did was smoke the reefer!"
"Right this way." instructs Satan and takes him to a room. Upon opening the door, he discovers there inside, as far as the eye can see, the stickiest-ickiest, greenest, drankest, red-hair-having, bombest bud ever grown. Satan throws him in the room and locks the door.
Ten years pass.
Satan returns to the first door. Before the man is even seen, a ******* of vomit comes spewing out in front of him as he drags himself hand over hand out of the room. His clothes are soaked with vomit, urine, and feces. He slurringly screams "I'LL NEVER DRINK ANOTHER DROP!"
"Congratulations," smiles Satan contently. "you now have a second chance at life."
Satan returns to the second door. He opens it and out comes the second man, running, covered in bite marks, hickeys, and scratches. He screams "I'M GAY! I'M GAY! I'M GAY!"
"Congratualtions," smiles Satan contently. "you now have a second chance at life."
Satan returns to the third door. The third man steps out, looks around and says "Hey, man. Got a light?"
And if you go chasing rabbits and you know you're going to fall
Tell them a hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call.
It called Alice when she was just small.
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And if you go chasing rabbits and you know you're going to fall
Tell them a hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call.
It called Alice when she was just small.
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tunnelrush
Advanced Member
United States
1,831 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 22:15:55
Hyper those mama jokes were killers!
these are my fav mom jokes....
*Your moms teeth are so yellow she spits butter.
Your mom is so ugly she'd scare a bulldog off a meat truck
Your mom is a one-legged kickboxer.
<>If the bass is too loud, you are too weak<>
__________________________________
<Pioneer CDJ-1000 Mk3's
<Mackie D.2 w Firewire
<M-Audio BX8's/ Peavey 15" Neo
<Sennheiser HD25's/Technics RPDJ 1200
<Tracktion 2
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bonkers-about-bonkers
Starting Member
United Kingdom
15 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2004/07/19 : 22:32:27
quote:
hyperdance Your mums so nasty she brings crabs to the beech.
Your mum's so dumb she stuck a batterry up her ass and said i've got the power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your mums so stupid i told her to take out the trash and she moved
ur mums so dumb she tried to drown a fish
ur mums so fat she had to get baptised in da sea
ur mums so fat when she wore a yellow raincoat people shouted taxi
ur mummz so fat dat she had to use a matress 4 a tampon
ur mom iz so fat dat her mobile number came up on the wayin scales
Your mum's so ugly, she has to do trick or treat over the phone
your mums so nasty, she made right guard turn left.
just to add 1 to those mama jokes:
Your mama's so fat she has to iron her clothes on the M1
I'm hardcore till I die. And er, say no to drugs and.....strangers!?
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I'm hardcore till I die. And er, say no to drugs and.....strangers!?
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