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whittle1 Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,191 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
25 hardcore releases
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 00:40:25
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your ar*e without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."
whittle1 Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,191 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
25 hardcore releases
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 01:23:18
quote:Originally posted by Baldo: wkd mate not heard any good jokes in a while, got any more anybody?
Just remembered, this should have actually been posted in that Joke thread section that was floating around here somewhere a couple of months ago. Bah, can't be bothered to dig it out and i'm too tired so now i sleep. And also Baldo, i wish i knew some other quality jokes but i have no more in my arsenal, i am merely a one hit wonder.
Chris B Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,964 posts Joined: Dec, 2003
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 01:27:20
quote:Originally posted by whittle1:
And also Baldo, i wish i knew some other quality jokes but i have no more in my arsenal, i am merely a one hit wonder.
no problem man enjoyed that one, anyone else no any? Im bored and ill and sleep aint happenin c'mon folks jokes are what it's all about
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once again back is the incredible, rhyme animal, incredible
Jon O-T Advanced Member
United Kingdom
929 posts Joined: Jun, 2005
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 15:56:19
LOL classic mate!
Heres one for the guys who wanted an oncore from whittle, *takes the spotlight ;)*
A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint, downs it and then runs around the pub shouting "Raaaaaa! Akka akka froogie froogie kjdsghdudxhgrux!!! and so on... until he gets tyred and runs out crying.
He does this every day for about a week.
One night he does the same again, and as he runs out screaming, the landlord talks to his mate. "He's a weird guy aint he?"
His mate replies, "Yea I know, he never says good night"
Ba da bum chi!
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The internet: Where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents
whittle1 Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,191 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
25 hardcore releases
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 18:54:22
quote:Originally posted by Jon O-T:
LOL classic mate!
Heres one for the guys who wanted an oncore from whittle, *takes the spotlight ;)*
A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint, downs it and then runs around the pub shouting "Raaaaaa! Akka akka froogie froogie kjdsghdudxhgrux!!! and so on... until he gets tyred and runs out crying.
He does this every day for about a week.
One night he does the same again, and as he runs out screaming, the landlord talks to his mate. "He's a weird guy aint he?"
His mate replies, "Yea I know, he never says good night"
tha_cheek Advanced Member
United Kingdom
631 posts Joined: May, 2005
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 22:37:59
Lol, put a smile on my face
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let me hear you screammm!!!! [email protected] ______________________________________
1up Advanced Member
Australia
1,091 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
Posted - 2005/12/07 : 05:23:04
nice one!
ive got a joke. i was going to use countries but i thought it would be racist. so i reaplaced them with people of diff. hair colours.
there was a blonde, brunette, and a blackhead lost in the country of killbillies. they went to search for food and found a farm. the blonde went for the milk on from the cow, brunette went for the fresh fruits and the blackhead went for the pie on the porch of the farmhouse. but she woke the resting farmer inside and he went to chase after them.
they ran into the animal pen and hid inside bags. the farmer looked around and and saw nothing but noticed a bag jiggle. the blackhead thought of a good idea and pretended to be a dog when the farmer hit the bag with his spade. she said "woof". the farmer ignored the dog thinking it was his. the brunette copied the the blackhead and pretended to be a cat. she said "meow". the farmer also ignored the cat thinking it was his neighbour's cat. the blonde though, pretented the be a potatoe. she said "potatoes" and got beated up.
pretty long joke though i think its funny
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fcuk the rails. fcuk the rails! FCUK THE RAILS!
whittle1 Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,191 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
25 hardcore releases
Posted - 2005/12/07 : 15:59:35
quote:Originally posted by thekid:
nice one!
ive got a joke. i was going to use countries but i thought it would be racist. so i reaplaced them with people of diff. hair colours.
there was a blonde, brunette, and a blackhead lost in the country of killbillies. they went to search for food and found a farm. the blonde went for the milk on from the cow, brunette went for the fresh fruits and the blackhead went for the pie on the porch of the farmhouse. but she woke the resting farmer inside and he went to chase after them.
they ran into the animal pen and hid inside bags. the farmer looked around and and saw nothing but noticed a bag jiggle. the blackhead thought of a good idea and pretended to be a dog when the farmer hit the bag with his spade. she said "woof". the farmer ignored the dog thinking it was his. the brunette copied the the blackhead and pretended to be a cat. she said "meow". the farmer also ignored the cat thinking it was his neighbour's cat. the blonde though, pretented the be a potatoe. she said "potatoes" and got beated up.
pretty long joke though i think its funny
Same old same old English man, Scotish man, Irish man gag
Printer friendly
Posted - 2005/12/06 : 00:40:25
wkd mate not heard any good jokes in a while, got any more anybody?
no problem man enjoyed that one, anyone else no any? Im bored and ill and sleep aint happenin c'mon folks jokes are what it's all about 
