| Author |
Thread |
|
kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
|
 Posted - 2007/09/25 : 09:02:48
The teacher asked the class to make up a sentence using the word "fascinate".
Little Jimmy's hand shot up immediately. But the teacher had been embarrassed by Jimmy numerous times before, so she pointed to Molly, who said, "Me and my family went to my grandad's farm on Sunday and we saw all his animals and it was 'fascinating'."
The teacher said, "That was good, Molly, but I wanted you to use the word
'fascinate', not 'fascinating'". "Let's try again".
Jimmy raised his hand again, but the teacher pointed to Sally. Sally said, "Me and my family went to see the London High and I was 'fascinated'."
The teacher said, "Yes, that was good Sally, but I want you to use
the word 'fascinate'".
By this time, Little Jimmy is eagerly shaking his hand in the air, so the teacher, thinking she was safe with the word 'fascinate', cautiously pointed at Jimmy, who said, "My Auntie Tina has a blouse with ten buttons, but her Tits are so big she can only 'fasten eight'." !
__________________________________
:)
Alert moderator 
|
Lilley
Advanced Member
Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/25 : 09:39:41
nice. i remember another one about little jimmy that was hilarious. cant remember how it goes but
__________________________________
nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems
Alert moderator
|
kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
|
Posted - 2007/09/25 : 09:58:56
teacher ask the kids to give her a sentence with pistol to in it so a little girl says .my father is a police man he has a suit of blue he somtimes carries a whistle and somtimes a pistol to very good mary .little jimmy says ive got one my fathers on the unemployed he has no suit of blue he gets his giro thursday and hes on the piss til two
this 1?
__________________________________
:)
Alert moderator
|
SPOOX
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,644 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/25 : 12:12:55
 
Alert moderator
|
Meathead
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
4,217 posts
Joined: Sep, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/25 : 19:18:41
quote:
Originally posted by Lilley:
nice. i remember another one about little jimmy that was hilarious. cant remember how it goes but
is it:
little jimmy was in bed one night when he heard a noise comin from the other room, so he goes to investigate. he walks up to his parents bedroom, pushes the door open slightly and finds his parents goin at it. jimmy stands at the door, completeley in shock starin at his mum and dad. his dad screams at jimmy "get out! get out!". so jimmy runs back into his room and back into bed.
the next day little jimmys dad comes home from work. he opens the front door, walks in and right away can hear a noise comin from upstairs. he stands there thinkin "wat is that boy up to?" so he walks up the stairs and upto little jimmys bedroom and presses his ear to the door. eventually he realises wat the noise is, so he quickly pushes the door open and sees little jimmy rattleing his grandma. jimmys dad stands completeley in shock and can't believe wat hes seein. jimmy then turns round to his dad and say "it's not nice when it's your mum is it?"
__________________________________
"Music creates order out of chaos; for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous." -Sir Yehudi Menuhin
Alert moderator
Edited by - Meathead on 2007/09/25 19:19:06 |
kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
|
Posted - 2007/09/26 : 09:13:11
@ ^^^^^^^^^
__________________________________
:)
Alert moderator
Edited by - kathryn on 2007/09/26 09:13:43 |
Lilley
Advanced Member
Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/26 : 09:29:50
no it had something to do with theword contagious
__________________________________
nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems
Alert moderator
|
kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
|
Posted - 2007/09/26 : 09:33:09
quote:
Originally posted by Lilley:
no it had something to do with theword contagious
eh?
__________________________________
:)
Alert moderator
|
Lilley
Advanced Member
Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/26 : 09:44:53
Teacher: "Suzie. Can you think of a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it?" Suzie: "Well, when I get sick, Daddy takes me to the doctor to get better because I was contagious." Teacher: "Very good! Johnny, can you give me a sentence with 'contagious' in it?" Johnny: "Well, my Daddy and I were watching Mommy shovel the driveway when a big snow plow drove by and piled snow back on the driveway and Daddy said 'Whooo-it's a gonna take dat cont ages to shovel all dat snow.'"
http://www.funnigurl.com/jokes/johnny.html
http://www.thealders.net/humour/category/children/little-johnny/
that last one has some absolutely gold stuff in it
__________________________________
nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems
Alert moderator
Edited by - Lilley on 2007/09/26 09:49:43 |
kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
|
Posted - 2007/09/26 : 10:03:26
quote:
Originally posted by Lilley:
Teacher: "Suzie. Can you think of a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it?" Suzie: "Well, when I get sick, Daddy takes me to the doctor to get better because I was contagious." Teacher: "Very good! Johnny, can you give me a sentence with 'contagious' in it?" Johnny: "Well, my Daddy and I were watching Mommy shovel the driveway when a big snow plow drove by and piled snow back on the driveway and Daddy said 'Whooo-it's a gonna take dat cont ages to shovel all dat snow.'"
http://www.funnigurl.com/jokes/johnny.html
http://www.thealders.net/humour/category/children/little-johnny/
that last one has some absolutely gold stuff in it
__________________________________
:)
Alert moderator
|
Jay-Owen
Advanced Member
Belgium
1,437 posts
Joined: Aug, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/28 : 12:17:58
LMFAO @ all of these jokes
Alert moderator
|
Jay-Owen
Advanced Member
Belgium
1,437 posts
Joined: Aug, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/28 : 12:19:42
I have a couple 'take the piss out of Hitler' jokes:
How did Hitler die?
He got in the wrong shower
When did Hitler wife die?
When she saw the gas bill
Alert moderator
|
The Doc
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,718 posts
Joined: Jan, 2006
|
Posted - 2007/09/29 : 00:20:41
Whats yellow and smells of Bananas?
Monkey sick!!!!!!!!!!
__________________________________
Rock you in your face! stab your brain with your nose bone!
Alert moderator
|
jenks
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,698 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
19 hardcore releases
|
Posted - 2007/09/29 : 14:10:27
I think I've just found possibly the sickest joke ever:
What's the difference between a baby and an apple?
I DON'T CUM ALL OVER AN APPLE BEFORE I EAT IT.
Alert moderator
|
kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
|
Posted - 2007/09/29 : 14:45:52
A COUPLE DRIVING HOME HIT AND WOUND A SKUNK.
WIFE:"IT'S SHIVERING,IT MUST BE COLD, WHAT SHOULD I DO ?"
HUSBAND: "PUT IT BETWEEN YOUR LEGS TO KEEP IT WARM."
WIFE:"BUT IT STINKS"
HUSBAND: "SO HOLD IT'S BLOODY NOSE "....
__________________________________
:)
Alert moderator
|
novaboy
Advanced Member
Australia
1,319 posts
Joined: Feb, 2007
|
Posted - 2007/09/29 : 16:11:25
lol
__________________________________
HARDWARS 2008.
IN CHARGE OF THE HARDWARS MYSPACE, STRICTLY VISIT WWW.MYSPACE.COM/HARDWARS
Alert moderator
|
Printer friendly
