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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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 Posted - 2007/10/10 : 10:00:46
1. Men are like ..Laxatives . They irritate the cr*p out of you.
2. Men are like..Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ..Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ..Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usualy head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ..Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like ..Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion
10. Men are like..Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like..Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ..Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ..Parking Spots...... All the good ones are taken
Not that i'm not happy with mi stud muffin Stu
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:)
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novaboy
Advanced Member
Australia
1,319 posts
Joined: Feb, 2007
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Posted - 2007/10/10 : 10:41:26
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn:
11. Men are like..Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
lol :P
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2007/10/10 : 10:48:14
quote:
Originally posted by _nova_:
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn:
11. Men are like..Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
lol :P
I chucked at that too
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:)
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SPOOX
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,644 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2007/10/10 : 14:05:48
I agree with some of them & i'm a man aswell!
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__CMC__
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
593 posts
Joined: Aug, 2007
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Posted - 2007/10/10 : 14:15:48
quote:
Originally posted by SPOOX:
I agree with some of them & i'm a man aswell!
Fag
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Smoogie
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,504 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006
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 Posted - 2007/10/10 : 14:41:55
any woman jokes, anyone?
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.
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2007/10/10 : 18:33:34
quote:
Originally posted by __CMC__:
quote:
Originally posted by SPOOX:
I agree with some of them & i'm a man aswell!
Fag
Since when did smoking come into this?
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jenks
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,700 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
19 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 00:43:41
Women are like KFC. The end.
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silver
Admin
Japan
12,579 posts
Joined: Feb, 2001
894 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 04:11:27
I count 11 of those that could be said for woman as well :)
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zelachang
Senior Member
United States
466 posts
Joined: Nov, 2004
54 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 05:08:00
quote:
Originally posted by jenks:
Women are like KFC. The end.
Tender and moist with a crunchy exterior?
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A woman who gives up sex too easily is like non-union labor. Union labor HATE that.
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novaboy
Advanced Member
Australia
1,319 posts
Joined: Feb, 2007
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 09:01:19
quote:
Originally posted by silver:
I count 11 of those that could be said for woman as well :)
inches of what? lol
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 09:50:01
Q. What's the difference between a woman from Wigan and a walrus?
A. One's got a moustache and smells of fish and the other lives in the
sea.
Q. How do we know that God is a man?
A. Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
Q. What's the difference between PMT and BSE?
A. One's a mad cow's disease and the other's an agricultural problem.
Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is
handsome, a good lover, and a stimulating partner?
A. In the pages of a romance novel.
Q. Why did God give women orgasms?
A. So they've got something else to moan about.
Q. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.
Q. How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
A. Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Q. How is a man like a used car?
A. Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. How do you scare a man?
A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
Q. Why did God make man first?
A. He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.
Q. How do you stop a man from raping you?
A. Throw him the remote control.
Q. What do Kermit the frog and Roseanne Barrs' husband have in common?
A. They both enjoy ****ing pigs.
Q. What's a man's idea of a romantic evening?
A. A candlelit football stadium.
Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
Q. What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
A. One is hairy, smelly, and is always scratching its arse and the
other's a chimpanzee.
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take
your house and car with them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a tart.
Q. Why can't you trust a woman?
A. How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't
die?
Q. What's the best way to a man's heart?
A. Through the back with a Stanley knife.
Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMT and a pitbull
terrier?
A. Lipstick.
Q. Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
A. They won't stop to ask directions.
Q. Why is a woman like a dog turd?
A. The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.
Q. What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25
year old doesn't?
A. Her navel.
Q. Why don't women have men's brains?
A. Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. What do electric toy trains and breasts have in common?
A. They're usually intended for the children, but it's the husbands
who end up playing with them.
Q. How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q. What is the perfect man?
A. A gingerbread man... He's sweet, he's quiet, and if he gives you
any shit you can bite his head off.
Q. What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common?
A. By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you
have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in.
Q. What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A. E.T. phones home.
Q. Why is the space between a girl's tits and hips called the waist?
A. Because you could put another pair of tits in there.
Q. What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A. A pizza and a six pack.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
Q. Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A. Because men fake foreplay.
Q. What have a fat bird and a scooter got in common?
A. They're both a good ride but you wouldn't want your mates to see
you on either.
Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A. 60p a minute.
Q. How are women and rocks alike?
A. You skip the flat ones.
Q. What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting
circumcised?
A. When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick.
Q. Why did the army send so many premenstrual women to the Gulf?
A. Because they fought like animals and retained water for four days.
Q. What do you call a man who comes after half an hour or your money
back?
A. The pizza delivery guy.
Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a tart?
A. A tart sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with
everybody at the party except you.
Q. What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
A. A man will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. What's the difference between a man and a hog?
A. A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night long
just to **** some pig.
Q. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
A. Patient.
Q. Why did God give women orgasms?
A. So they've got something else to moan about.
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:)
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Edited by - kathryn on 2007/10/11 09:52:02 |
JesterDJ
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,486 posts
Joined: Apr, 2003
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 10:11:51
What a fantastic waste of office hours!!! Thanks Kathryn!!!
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JESTER, n. An officer formerly attached to a king's household, whose business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume.
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 10:17:30
quote:
Originally posted by JesterDJ:
What a fantastic waste of office hours!!! Thanks Kathryn!!!
np Jester
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Mortis
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
7,493 posts
Joined: May, 2004
341 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 10:25:54
Hahaha thats great, some funny stuff in the second list.
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novaboy
Advanced Member
Australia
1,319 posts
Joined: Feb, 2007
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Posted - 2007/10/11 : 10:51:16
lol nice one :)
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