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Dante
Advanced Member
Vatican City State (Holy See)
1,185 posts
Joined: Dec, 2009
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 Posted - 2011/03/16 : 06:41:51
Ah, I remember a period of fear of sharks in the local swimming pool, even though the water was clear and I could see the bottom of the entire pool. ;D
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NekoShuffle
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,480 posts
Joined: Nov, 2009
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 12:39:00
quote:
Originally posted by Hard2Get:
quote:
I have got a BRILLIANT story about a kid taking a poo in a public swimming pool when my mum decided to make me try and learn to swim again when I was 13, one of the funniest things ever.
Haha well don't just tease us, tell us it! Splashing also really bothered me, i guess anything to do with water that made me feel uneasy.
Okayokay it's a bit long but I'll try my best!
Basically me, my mums friend and his son went to this swimming pool, they were both experienced swimmers but I couldn't swim at all. The idea was that instead of forcing me to take swimming lessons she figured that if I just visited a swimming pool and had fun I'd learn by myself, I was having none of it.
There were 4 parts of the swimming pool, an ultra shallow glorified-puddle little kids area with giant plastic turtles and whales stuff that sprayed water and there was a tiny slide in it too. There was a shallow area that was just the right depth for me but there were constantly kids bombing in it, jumping around splashing people and so I never bothered. The deep end was much too deep for me and mainly consisted of the big 'rapids', which was like huge circular concrete pillar that water would like whirlpool around everyone would be spinning around in it trying to grab stuff etc. (I went in it once and it was terrifying, never again) Oh and finally there was a jacuzzi above the rest of the pool that the adults would sit in to relax. I'm just gonna copy and paste the rest of the story from an MSN convo:
(23:49) Neko: I decide I'm gonna stick to the little paddling pool area
(23:49) Neko: it has a slide I can go on and like animals that spray water
(23:49) Neko: like a turtle that shoots it out of it's back
(23:50) Neko: so I entertain myself sitting on its back, covering the hole and aiming it at people
(23:50) Neko: and after a while this is getting boring and stuff
(23:50) Neko: and this arabic or something family comes along
(23:50) Neko: and they've got this kid
(23:50) Neko: he must be like 3?
(23:50) Neko: he's wearing like a bathing suit made out of literally like, tissue paper stuck together
(23:51) Neko: and they just point him to the shallow end and walk off to the jacuzzi part totally leaving him unwatched
(23:52) Neko: and he goes in and like in a few minutes his bathing suit has completely come off and is sort of breaking up and floating around the shallow end (now empty)
(23:52) Neko: and I'm like 'wtf naked kid'
(23:52) Neko: then I like go somewhere else, go down the slide or something
(23:53) Neko: then look back again to see if anyone else has noticed this naked kid
(23:53) Neko: and like
(23:53) Neko: he's playing with something
(23:53) Neko: and I look closer
(23:53) Neko: and all the water around him is really murky and he's like patting this peice of poo that I can only guess is his own around in his hands in the water like playing with it and stuff
(23:54) Neko: and I'm like thinking "ewww that's gross and like immediately get back up onto the parts you walk on and stuff near the showers like incase the poo water floats my way and touches me
(23:55) Neko: I look back and the kid has like gotten bored and is heading over to where I was with like this trail of murky water following him
(23:56) Neko: I was gonna like tell a lifeguard but I didn't really have the confidence back then and I figured someone would spot it soon enough
(23:56) Neko: but yeah, the poo he had is gone
(23:56) Neko: so I'm like
(23:56) Neko: 'wtf where's that lump of poo?'
(23:57) Neko: and as I walk along the edges of the pool I JUST spot it in time as it floats through the deep end unnoticed and quickly gets sucked into the rapids
(23:57) Neko: as I run behind this water slide to go right near the rapids where it's floating around I hear loads of people screaming and stuff and I'm like thinking "YESSS"
(23:57) Neko: and omg
(23:57) Neko: PANDEMONIUM
(23:58) Neko: I get to the rapids and lifeguards are blowing whistles, yelling, kids screaming trying to get out, I saw the poo like SWOOSH past one kid who looked about 9 and he just fcking burst into tears
(23:59) Neko: all the parents trying to get their kids out
(23:59) Neko: my mum's friend is like heaving like "HEUGH HEUUGH HEUGH" and loads of kids and adults think he's gonna hurl and run away from him screaming
(23:59) Neko: he's out of the pool, so is his son
(00:01) Neko: then I see like 3 lifeguards trying to pull this quite fat blonde girl who's probably like 9 too and she's throwing this MASSIVE hissy fit like screaming crying and struggling to get out which isn't helping them pull her out
(00:01) Neko: and they're all trying to get her out and stuff like PULLING her and at this point EVERYONE can smell this poo over the smell of chlorine and parents are THOROUGHLY showering and getting the hell out of there
(00:02) Neko: and like as these 3 lifeguards pull her she suddenly hurls up and pukes into the rapids which like hits the water with a splash and immediately starts to whirlpool around too, smothering her lower body in puke
(00:03) Neko: at this point this one security guard decides that its too much for him and DROPS her arm to cover his own mouth from puking, unbalancing the weight sending her face down into her own barf followed by more screaming XD
(00:04) Neko: at this point I'm literally like clinging onto a fake palm tree trying to breathe from laughing
(00:04) Neko: she got out in the end and last I saw she was wrapped in a towl crying being walked to the showers by her parents
(00:06) Neko: omg
(00:06) Neko: that tiny arabic kid or whatever
(00:06) Neko: managed to cause like so much chaos
(00:06) Neko: just by taking a poo
(00:06) Neko: in the pool
(00:06) Neko: and forgetting about it
(00:07) Neko: best pool trip ever
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JayHH86
Advanced Member
Vietnam
1,400 posts
Joined: Dec, 2008
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 13:04:52
LOL. I'm slightly pissed, and was a little apprehensive about the volume of text, but I persisted - and boy am I glad I did.
What a ****ing story. That is absolutely fantastic. How long ago was it.
I have another poo related story. Well, I have two actually, but I posted one of them on here last summer. I'll try dig it out. Hang on.
Found it: http://www.happyhardcore.com/forums/topic.asp?topic_id=50466
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Edited by - JayHH86 on 2011/03/16 13:06:31 |
Hard2Get
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United Kingdom
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Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 13:52:22
LOL, man you can't make that shit up. Excuse the pun.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2011/03/16 13:52:42 |
Triquatra
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United Kingdom
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Joined: Nov, 2003
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 14:01:30
its pretty funny...
but really.. throwing up? screaming? crying?..humans are stupid creatures
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Hard2Get
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 14:03:41
quote:
Originally posted by DjTriquatra:
its pretty funny...
but really.. throwing up? screaming? crying?..humans are stupid creatures
Yeah pretty rediculous.
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Lilley
Advanced Member
Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 14:03:44
Free jumping into water from heights is quite probably my favourite past time. I prefer other things more, but its free and easily accessible. Copped a few injuries though.
Yes I love the water.
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nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems
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DjSiLENT
Starting Member
United States
14 posts
Joined: Mar, 2011
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 14:15:45
OMG! That's the funniest story ever, oh man my eyes are watering I'm laughing so hard!
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Edited by - DjSiLENT on 2011/03/16 14:18:47 |
acidfluxxbass
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United Kingdom
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Joined: Apr, 2008
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 14:25:37
lol normaly for me when I'm on shift lifeguarding its
Woman: Excuse me, I think theres little bits of poo floating around the pool
Olly: Nope I cant see anything
Woman: Oh right. Sorry.
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latininxtc
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United States
7,307 posts
Joined: Feb, 2006
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 15:32:15
quote:
Originally posted by Hard2Get:
quote:
Originally posted by DjTriquatra:
its pretty funny...
but really.. throwing up? screaming? crying?..humans are stupid creatures
Yeah pretty rediculous.
lol i agree. saying they overreacted is an understatement. there was a rat in the pool 1 time nobody at our pool were as hysterical as that. then again there were only like 6 of us at the time, including me.
so what happened to the arabic kid? did everyone find out it was him? and how old were u when this happened?
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NekoShuffle
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United Kingdom
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 17:29:55
I was about 12 at the time. Might have been 13 but probably 12 as it was when I had started high school. Nobody found out it was the arabic kid, I didnt see him or his family again lol I told my mum's friend and his son that I'd seen it all unfold on the way home though. The whole incident closed the pool so nobody would have realised who did it because the changing rooms were packed with people getting the hell out of there lol I literally couldnt speak for ages because it was so funny. I still dunno why they didn't turn the rapids off sooner though lol I think they lost a lot of business that day!
and Jay that story is mental! 270 on booze...crikey. the poo in the manhole is golden though lol I suppose when you think about it a manhole is probably the most appropriate place to do a poo outside!
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Brian K
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United States
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Joined: Sep, 2001
528 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 18:25:04
haha I probably would have pooped and peed laughing so hard if I was at that pool =P
was taught to swim at an early age because my mom never learned how, she wanted to make sure her kids could.
had to take swimming in gym too
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latininxtc
Advanced Member
United States
7,307 posts
Joined: Feb, 2006
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Posted - 2011/03/16 : 18:28:26
speaking of pee and pools, whatever happened to the chemical that made the water darker everytime someone peed in the pool?
i used to hear about places having them everywhere, and now i've been told none of them have them anymore
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