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bLOODY_dAN Advanced Member
United States
768 posts Joined: Feb, 2004
30 hardcore releases
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 16:26:01
Feel free to post your sad stories too. Or anything thats been bothering you. Hardcore peeps gotta stick together!
My life has been all over the place in the last few days. Getting fired for no real reason other than my boss didnt like me. Not knowing what to do. Panicking, then getting really pissed, then feeling sorry for myself, then snapping back to reality and figuring out what i need to do. THen feeling even more depressed. So i do something i havent done in a long time.....I prayed. ANd i distinctly remember hearing the word "sunrise". I didnt know what it ment, but i had just asked God for a sign and thats all i got.....So i was like "MEH". Then i call my dad and told him what happend and he prays for me. I dont know if he knew but i was crying the whole time. Not just because i got fired, but because my whole life was basically collapsing.
So i apply at a bunch of places, one of the being panera and i happend to know 3 of the people that worked there already. So i was excited about that. I go back to my appartment and by now its around 6 oclock. I do nothing for about 2 hours and then my roomates friend comes over. I end up buying 60 MGs of adderal. He buys like 100. Anyhooo, me, my roomate, and his friend do all of our adderal. Now something like that is never a really "good idea". So we end up talking from 8 at night to 8 in the morning. We talked about everything. From God to family to demons to school to ANYTHING! We covered it all! It had a very somber feeling. Everyone had been "down" for the last week or so. And i think this was what everyone needed. WE all had shit we needed to get off our chests.
Around 7:00 it started to get light outside. The sun wasnt up yet. And i remembered the words i had heard earlier that day. "Sunrise"....I sincerely felt that i was supposed to watch the sun come up. The start of a new day was happening right in front of me.
The reason that was significant. 1.) I had asked God for a sign of what i should do and the only thing i got was "Sunrise". 2.) I had just decided to stop smoking weed and cigarettes. This was the start of my new day/life i guess. This was a hudge deal for me.
Theres one other thing that i was dealing with. Roomates friends and coke. Now i never did coke, but i had to watch some of the closest people to me begin to disintigrate their lives. And this was really getting to me. I had to make a change in my life so i could at least attempt to help them.
Im not really sure where this is going. No real direction, but i hope this was somehow helpful to at least one of you out there...
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S I G N A T U R E . . .
Em Jay Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,727 posts Joined: Apr, 2004
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 16:42:01
Mate, that was deep, really touching....
I think you might have a bad case of the january bloos. I have it too right now...
Nothing in particular is really "terrible" for me. but its just little things that put you off track...
I have piles of coursework to complete, The dead line for one of them is friday, and i havnt began it yet, Thing is i wont ever start on something i dont know about, i know its my fault because i never listened in that class at college because its that dreaded teacher we all have, the one you dont get on with.
So Works getting me down too... i feel used and just generally treated like shit.
If i think hard about it, there are no real reasons for me to be upset. As i said its just january and winter.
But it seems like you are finding your feet a lil... Getting off your arse and looking for a new job is a great place to start.
chatting with close mates helps heaps too.
also having faith, like you obviously do. mate you have got the right ideas. i wouldnt worry yourself too much
Massive jump giving up weed and cigerettes in one go... but apparantly, The spontanious quiters achieve more than people that cut down and plan to give up.... So good luck there :)
What helped me give up was (cliche) getting a hobby, and i bought myself a dart board hehe, its great fun! and even better when you win some cash down the pub :D
Hope thats shed some *sunlight* onto your unfortunate scenario
Take it easy
_BoNe_ Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,387 posts Joined: May, 2004
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 16:50:26
I've got a big steaming turd on my plate at the moment too.
But i'd rather not get in to it.
I'm sure everything will work out right for you Sars (and you em) - the grass is always greener n all that bollocks.
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# iTS aLL aBOUT bEATS -- aLL aBOUT bASS #
#aLL aBOUT hARDCORE -- aLL aBOUT rAVES#
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Chris B Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,964 posts Joined: Dec, 2003
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 16:55:38
I'm all good tbh nothin really terribles happened in my life for quite a while, day by day stuff i dont let get to me.
Lifes too short to worry about little things, better to just do something about it than mope around.
About your mates getting into coke etc, i've had loadsa mates become junkies in my life you just gotta learn to not let it get to you cos theres nothing you can do about it.
Help out all you can but it's not your life at the end of the day so there gonna do what there gonna do, i'm quite cold that way but you cant sort out the lifes of all your friends/family so no point worrying about it.
All the best for your new way of life anyway
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once again back is the incredible, rhyme animal, incredible
Em Jay Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,727 posts Joined: Apr, 2004
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 17:09:03
no, baldo, your right sweet 'art. Yes you are cold (kidding, your a lovely chap)
But it is true. as the old saying goes "i can't help you, If you can't help yourself"
Its a sad case... but its the ultimate test. My best mates boyf was an ultimate coke head and dealer round this neck of the woods. but he pulled himself out and stopped the drugs (everything bar booze) He will admit, he misses the feeling of beig on top of the world and being the greatest and all that jazz. but not a day goes by where he doesnt think about how pleased with him self he actually is, and we praise him so often its untrue! He is a better person for it and has managed to keep all his mates that really mean something to him.
On the other hand, I had mates who are still on the drugs, They werent able to go straight, and they basically proved they werent worth being mates with, its sad that drugs are their main purpose and that they take procedure over being with close friends. I'll always care for them and be there for them, but theyre not the same as they where before...
So i would say, do try speaking to them, and if they love the coke more than they love you.... then what can ya do?
Sorry if i just totally went off course there :/ i am feeling really chatty today lol
And i didnt mean to make things sound worse if i accidently did
tunnelrush Advanced Member
United States
1,831 posts Joined: Jun, 2004
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 20:44:16
Nobody should underestimate the value of a good freindship. (specifically the 'best' freinds)
talking to them for hours on-end about everything and anything can be the best thing for you. This is when you can see that not everything thats happening around you is THAT bad. Everyone fights but not everyone gets back up.
whittle1 Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,191 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
25 hardcore releases
Posted - 2006/02/01 : 23:43:09
quote:Originally posted by DJ_JaXoN:
just chug away mate ull get there eventually
EXACTLY what he said, this time in a few years, probably less, those troubles you have now will be over. Keep plodding along and most importantly, keep believing things will get better.
I'm having a really tough time at the moment in my life, but i keep on going believing (false hope maybe) that things will get better, but trust me anything can happen, and i'm only living for the future.
All the best Sars mate.
swansea247 Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,626 posts Joined: May, 2004
41 hardcore releases
Posted - 2006/02/02 : 00:54:55
my sad story...
about 15 months ago i found my cat charlie dead on my mothers bed. he died at the age of 19, i'm guessing that he died of natural causes because of his age. it was really difficult for me to accept it as i knew him literally since i was born. now i know that sounds really soft but he was more of a family member than a pet and i can gurantee that i will never forget him.
here's a picture i took of him about 3 days before he died
Alert moderatorEdited by - Ionosphere on 2006/02/02 14:59:09
bLOODY_dAN Advanced Member
United States
768 posts Joined: Feb, 2004
30 hardcore releases
Posted - 2006/02/02 : 20:24:42
So guys! A day after i wrote that i got a job on the spot at 'Panera Bread'. Its this upscale bakery/cafe/eatery/coffee house......Its awsome! I get paid a lil less, but i get more hours. My bosses think im just about the greatest thing to happen to them and the people i work with are suuper cool! The job situation is looking up, and all i have to worry about now is not ****ing up school, and paying off debt...Wish me luck!
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S I G N A T U R E . . .
kathryn Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts Joined: Apr, 2005
Posted - 2006/02/03 : 13:44:01
quote:Originally posted by MC SARS:
So guys! A day after i wrote that i got a job on the spot at 'Panera Bread'. Its this upscale bakery/cafe/eatery/coffee house......Its awsome! I get paid a lil less, but i get more hours. My bosses think im just about the greatest thing to happen to them and the people i work with are suuper cool! The job situation is looking up, and all i have to worry about now is not ****ing up school, and paying off debt...Wish me luck!
good luck to you and hope all goes well!
I have my good and bad days thankgod i have my children to see me through life otherwise if it werent for them i would be up in the Heavens above with my dad!
I have had people who i thought were friends but they were just taking the p*** really!
I have 1 really good female friend who lives in Lancaster and although i have only known her for a year when i met her in the Domestic Violence Refuge she always keeps in touch with me and we text every day!
Oh and i have got myself an admirer as well who puts the cheeky smile back on my face ; )
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Posted - 2006/02/01 : 16:26:01
(kidding, your a lovely chap)
Posted - 2006/02/02 : 20:24:42
even I wasn't going to go there!
