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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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 Posted - 2006/07/11 : 12:24:39
Am feeling really down today. My bf is at work and am close to tears as i write this. I and my son was assaulted weekend before last again! my ex has been arrested for assaulting me and is out on bail but didnt get arrested for assaulting my son, my son is 8 and the police officer dealing with this has said he would have to book an appointment for my son to have a videoed interview!
I have had to fill in an homelesss appplication form to move.I dont want to go back into a refuge as i have been there before and tried to end it all there!
Police arent even bothering to contact me about whats happenuing e.t.c!
This morning i woke up thinking are my kids better of without me?
I suffer with depression as it is and am on medication.My doctor is new to me and i wouldnt feel comfortable talking to him.My social worker is not much better she would just say to me pull yourself together.I felt like this yesterday its awful its like a dark cloud hovering over my existance!
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:)
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Edited by - kathryn on 2006/07/11 12:29:21 |
DJ E-Rok
Senior Member
Russia
476 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
33 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 12:44:08
I truly know how you feel, you'll be in ma prayers later :)
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stupid bathtubs
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_BoNe_
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,387 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 13:22:59
Kin ell Kathryn!! Sounds pretty grim! Your ex sounds like a right bell end.
Hope everything gets sorted out n that, i'm sure everythin will 
quote:
This morning i woke up thinking are my kids better of without me?
^ Don't be silly!
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#aLL aBOUT hARDCORE -- aLL aBOUT rAVES#
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PsychoticRaver
Average Member
United Kingdom
185 posts
Joined: Jun, 2006
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 13:52:06
Sounds horrible. Sorry to hear.
Chin up!
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www.myspace.com/psychoticraver
www.ravers-united.co.uk
www.dontstayin.com/members/psychoticraver
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 14:39:25
Am here i had a long walk round with my son (he's asleep now) i just sat on a bench outside of town and cried for ages and my eyes are stingin now. Hate it when i feel like this.
My brother made me a bit happier he phoned me out the blue and hes got some major issues himself which made me feel real selfish for thinking the way i did!
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:)
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XtarsiA
Senior Member
United Kingdom
431 posts
Joined: Mar, 2005
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 14:48:30
times are very sad for me too
you are not alone.
its gonna be hard, and i dont know anyway to help really...
but i feel for you.
hope can always exist, aslong as u hold on to it
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http://www.xtarsia.net
http://www.myspace.com/XtarsiA
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Underloop
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,895 posts
Joined: Mar, 2002
91 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 14:57:02
Here is a random picture of a llama to help cheer you up
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"We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing."
- George Bernard Shaw
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 14:57:26
quote:
Originally posted by XtarsiA:
times are very sad for me too
you are not alone.
its gonna be hard, and i dont know anyway to help really...
but i feel for you.
hope can always exist, aslong as u hold on to it
Thanks for that Xtarsia!
Also thanks Bone i cant believe i even thought that myself!
Thanks to Underloop aswell! 
Also thanks to Mortis (Stu) your a star! 
Thanks to other people who have replied to my post!
I hope this feeling dosent last i am usually a  person!
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:)
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 14:58:58
quote:
Originally posted by Underloop:
Here is a random picture of a llama to help cheer you up
 nice one Matt!
wonder why its got the hump? 
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:)
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djDMS
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
10,304 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
572 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 17:22:48
I hate it when bad things happen to people that don't deserve it.
You had enough about you to write about how you're feeling so that in itself is a positive thing - just being able to talk about it is a big help. Deep down you know you have a lot to live for and a lot to give also, so while it's understandable that you might (briefly) think of doing something silly - you know there are better things ahead for you.
For some people life is easy and they just breeze through it without a care, for others (like yourself) it's a challenge, often a struggle - but it's you who'll have had the experiences to make you a much stronger person when you come through this (notice i said WHEN and not IF).
So chin up, keep smiling - and look forward to the many positive things that are surely just around the corner for you.
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Taking my time to perfect the beat
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 17:41:44
Oh Kathryn. I'm sorry to hear that all's not well again,
....if you lived nearer I'd invite you round for a cuppa tea and remind you to heed DMS's wise words.
Also, if it was possible, I'd get the 'crew' to turn up and sort out the 'guilty party' for you -
Keep going.
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This- http://www.discogs.com/artist/Ionosphere
THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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Em Jay
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,727 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 18:09:19
You sound like some one very familiar to my life (obviously this is a public forum and I choose not to divulge too much into my personal life). So youve hit a nerve with me, not in a bad way, just kinda touched me a bit.
There are so many things I wana say, but some may be best left unsaid, some I can't find the right words for, and somethings are totally irrelevant, So I shall keep things very simple and say...
Look at all this support you have here! Surely thats gonna give you a lil bit of positive motivation even for a short while :)
Your social worker and GP shouldnt be people that you feel you cannot trust or confide in. If I were you, I would tell them that your struggling to speak out to them, hell, they are professionals, they deal with people very similar to you everyday, they are not allowed to become emotionally attatched - hence why you may percieve them to shrug you off a bit, it is also a possibility that you have different psychological perspectives 
something I would suggest is reading up on a few perspectives, humanistic, psychodynamic, cognitive, and person/client-centered approaches to counselling, not saying attend counselling, but educate yourself a bit, It helped me understand a hell of a lot about myself and the people I interact with everyday. You may find it all bollocks, but Im a geek so I found it great 
Errr, yes, I said I was going to keep it simple. I failed.
Anywho, take it easy, take your time, and take things as they come one at a time.
And sorry if I just shat on your cool posts everyone was giving, I'm not very good at cheering people up :/
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:.Cheezy Quavers.:
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SlimeShady
Junior Member
United Kingdom
104 posts
Joined: Jun, 2006
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 Posted - 2006/07/11 : 18:24:32
Speaking with personal experience on this matter, I know what you must be going through. Its hard for us all at some point but what I always say is 'look on the bright side'.
I'm sure you'll pull through and be back to normal in no time.
Chin up
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"I can never face another day
if there ain't no raver's groove to let me play"
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Simon
Advanced Member
Belgium
5,001 posts
Joined: Dec, 2001
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 20:15:30
The fact is you have a lot to live for and a lot to give. At the end of it all your precious children will always need you, and that in itself is a perfectly good goal to aim for.
If you ever get low again feel free to let me know I'm always free to talk. I'm hardly the worlds greatest morale booster, and I am sure there are others closer to you that can do the job even better *bows down to Mortis*.
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"...The Outsider"
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Underloop
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,895 posts
Joined: Mar, 2002
91 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 20:15:46
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn:
quote:
Originally posted by Underloop:
Here is a random picture of a llama to help cheer you up
[random pic of llama]
nice one Matt!
wonder why its got the hump?
Wouldn't you if I left you tied to a post all day?
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"We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing."
- George Bernard Shaw
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Em Jay
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,727 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2006/07/11 : 20:50:38
quote:
Originally posted by Simon:
I'm hardly the worlds greatest morale booster,
Lies!
Your a great listener actually Si
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:.Cheezy Quavers.:
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