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kindler13
Junior Member
Australia
90 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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 Posted - 2005/11/13 : 07:16:40
I met my girlfriend at a rave. But she has since stopped raving and only occasionly goes to House & Trance clubs now. I still don't mind raving every now and again. But she is dead against it now. Thinks it's all about drugs and says my raver friends are a bad influence. I have stopped taking drugs completly and goin out much less for her. Now she wants me to stop buying hardcore vinyl and being in the scene completly. She says if we have kids and marry she does'nt want them to know we were ever a part of the rave scene. "And hardcore music is very drug related" (her words). I don't know what to do, i love her. But don't think i could ever live without hardcore music in my life. We've been going out for nearly 3 yrs now. So thats what makes it so hard. Was just wondering if any of you out there have girlfriends or boyfrionds who feel the same. And what would you do in a situation like this? Thanx..
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mtd
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Chwhynny
Senior Member
United Kingdom
371 posts
Joined: Oct, 2004
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 07:31:51
Well, you met through raving and hardcore music, so she knew all along you were into it. It's not something that has changed about you that could "put her off". It's almost like guys dating a stripper because they think that's sexy and cool, and then they demand she quits because it's "not done" in a relationship...
If I were you I'd try to explain to her that raving and hardcore is how you met in the first place, tell her how much it means to you and that you already quit drugs for her.
To be honest, if you really love someone you don't demand they quit doing what they love most, unless it's harmful for them. If she really cares about you she'll want you to be happy and safe, and if part of being happy is being able to go out raving and to buy hardcore records it's something she'll have to accept.
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[Chwhynny @ Hardcore Underground]
For clips and information about my releases visit:
http://www.chwhynny.com
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Rainbow nigger
Banned
United States
11 posts
Joined: Nov, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 07:35:02
quote:
Originally posted by kindler13:
I met my girlfriend at a rave. But she has since stopped raving and only occasionly goes to House & Trance clubs now. I still don't mind raving every now and again. But she is dead against it now. Thinks it's all about drugs and says my raver friends are a bad influence. I have stopped taking drugs completly and goin out much less for her. Now she wants me to stop buying hardcore vinyl and being in the scene completly. She says if we have kids and marry she does'nt want them to know we were ever a part of the rave scene. "And hardcore music is very drug related" (her words). I don't know what to do, i love her. But don't think i could ever live without hardcore music in my life. We've been going out for nearly 3 yrs now. So thats what makes it so hard. Was just wondering if any of you out there have girlfriends or boyfrionds who feel the same. And what would you do in a situation like this? Thanx..
ahhhh thats so CHEESY ! haha ....remember its only music
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Cotts
Advanced Member
Australia
917 posts
Joined: Aug, 2004
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 07:44:31
i wouldnt give up the music...... then again i wouldnt loose my relationship over it. I think that i would still listen to the tunez, buy the music and just not go to raves i could handle that as a compromise. I think for you to stop listening to the music alltogether is a little over the top though... I love my hardcore and wouldnt stop listening to it for the world
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http://www.youtube.com/djcotts
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DarrenJ
Advanced Member
Australia
2,626 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 09:04:42
If your going to give up drugs for the sake of your kids, then good
But if you need drugs to go to a rave, then it shouldnt be to hard to give up, since its about the trip and not the music
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☻hardcore
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 10:37:09
..... this is just the beginning of your lives together.
Sacrificing Hardcore will set a precedent. What's next?
"A wise man can see many things in one thing..." (Myamoto Musashi, 1584-1645).
P.S. You might love her but how much does she love you to ask something like that?
( it is pretty typical...... how many times have I seen this sort of thing  )
Get her to read the words of a real woman,
"To be honest, if you really love someone you don't demand they quit doing what they love most, unless it's harmful for them. If she really cares about you she'll want you to be happy and safe, and if part of being happy is being able to go out raving and to buy hardcore records it's something she'll have to accept."
Respect to Chwhynny.
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This- http://www.discogs.com/artist/Ionosphere
THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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Edited by - Ionosphere on 2005/11/13 13:31:23 |
Slasher
Advanced Member
Slovenia
551 posts
Joined: Jun, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 10:49:11
this is plain stupid. you stoped taking drugs, stop going to raves.. for her and kid? but she cant make you stop listening to music you like for god's sake. its MUSIC. it's not as harmful as drugs for example.
carry on with hardcore music! hardcore > all (babes) :p
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freeform
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Jon O-T
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
929 posts
Joined: Jun, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 11:01:37
When I first saw this I thought... easy, hardcore. But if you have been going out with her for 3 years and you love her then this gets really awkward.
I think it's decent of you to stop taking the drugs for her and possibly for kids. And I can kinda see her point about going raving so much, If you used to take drugs. But there is nothing wrong with CDs, making you give up the CDs is just madness.
Have you been forced to do what she thinks is right in the past? Because the way I see it is that if she makes you give up one thing you enjoy, then she might make you give up more things in the future.
I say you don't do anything sudden, and you just talk and try to reason with her.
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The internet: Where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents 
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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 11:33:47
Dont give up music. Cant believe someone could even ask that.
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Roberticus
Advanced Member
Finland
697 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 12:57:34
as whispering said
She might start with your music and continue with your other hobbies... and worst case: leave friends.
Talk to her about this that you really love hardcore music =)
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Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia = Fear of long words
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Jax
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,676 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 13:12:49
this is madness. if she demands you give up drugs, going to raves and listening to the music you love in the first 3 years of your relationship, what do you think she is going to have you doing in 15 years time.. it sounds to me like she is jealous that you still get a buzz from listening to music and going to raves.
if i was you id say, i can see where you are coming from, but ive quit the drugs and im willing to only go to say 2 or 3 raves a year as a compromise and i will buy as many/much hardcore tapepacks, cd's and vinyl as i want ( im sure she buys as much perfume shoes and dress' as she wants lol)
hope u get it sorted mate
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Xenochrome
Advanced Member
United States
2,645 posts
Joined: Aug, 2002
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 13:30:12
Dump the girl, then get more ****ed and get rockin'.
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Evel
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
604 posts
Joined: Jul, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 14:43:00
Im single so I'm safe but if I had to choose i would go for
The one with the big tits LOL 
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As from 14.3.06 Evel became Smoogie as he got bored with being Evel.
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Jon O-T
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
929 posts
Joined: Jun, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 15:24:41
quote:
Originally posted by Evel:
Im single so I'm safe but if I had to choose i would go for
The one with the big tits LOL
That picture disc silver posted by silver from Evolution Records has big tits on the cover. So were back 2 square 1!
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The internet: Where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents
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Edited by - Jon O-T on 2005/11/13 15:25:15 |
SixFeet
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,285 posts
Joined: Jan, 2005
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Posted - 2005/11/13 : 22:21:53
slippery slope here but i think it is strange she wants to erase hardcore from her past at all, that isn't healthy. a person's past should never be forgotten, even if they didn't like it. you learn from it and it defines what and who you are.
i'd be more freaked about the 'when we get married and have kids' bit, even if you have been together 3 years
blag your way with it, say 'well i love hardcore because it is how i met you. when i listen to it, it reminds me of the night we met. i don't want to forget that night ever.' or something equally cheesy
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No single raindrop ever blames themselves for the flood...
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Xenochrome
Advanced Member
United States
2,645 posts
Joined: Aug, 2002
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 Posted - 2005/11/13 : 22:27:05
quote:
Originally posted by SixFeet:
blag your way with it, say 'well i love hardcore because it is how i met you. when i listen to it, it reminds me of the night we met. i don't want to forget that night ever.' or something equally cheesy
Damn. That's good.
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